Why and How America needs Donald Trump
For awhile I’ve been surprised at how well Donald Trump has been doing on his way to the Republican party’s nomination for President of the United States.
I had been working on this post and hoped to release it on June 14, 2016, which would be Donald Trump’s 70th birthday (b. 06/14/1946). But with former Texas Senator Ted Cruz stepping down/dropping out/quitting followed by Ohio Governor John Kasich doing the same, I had to do it now.
On the Donald’s upcoming birthday I was going to note how birthdays are usually spent well-wishing the birthday person on how far they’ve made it (in terms of age) and hoping they’ll have many more to come, while making lame jokes about being “over the hill”, “an old fart (fartress?)”, and how the fire department should have been called as a security measure.
But because of recent events, I feel I have to release this sooner.
So, on this day, I’m hoping that America (and the world?) recognizes how much and why we need Donald Trump, irrespective of your gender or political affiliation.
Having said that, I can already hear the pitchforks being readied and the footsteps of an oncoming riot. But, hear me out. I’m sure you’ll agree with me.
As of today May 5th 2016, or since you’re so hip to the Spanish scene “Cinco de Mayo”, there are 187 days until elections are held in the United States to select the who will be the succeed Barack Obama (44th U.S. President) and become the 45th president.
Much has been said of where Donald Trump fits into this picture. According to him and his people, he will be the nominee of the Republican and become President elect. According to other candidates, they will become President. Why run if you don’t think you’ll win, right!
But is this THE move for Donald Trump? His supporters say “Yes” and his detractors say “No”. Regardless of the outcome, America needs, yes NEEDS Donald John Trump. Is 1600 Pennsylvania the right destination?
Definitely!
Perhaps?
Maybe?
No?!?
Donald is a force to be reckoned with and I don’t think the White House (or perhaps the “Orange House”) would be the best place for him.
Here, then, is where Donald Trump belongs while explaining the ‘why’ and ‘how’.
When you have a team, it’s best to put your members where they can perform the best. As a performer, Mr. Trump’s stage should not be the White House, but the Small Screen.
"Donald" vs "POTUS"
Comparison of whether "The Donald" as a person or as "POTUS" would better.| Category | "The Donald" | "POTUS" |
|---|---|---|
| Name |  | |
| Successors | | |
| Location | | |
| Deal-making | | |
| Salary | | |
| Image | | |
| Media | |
ALL IN A NAME
Being “President” or “Mr. President” might seem like one step forward, but it’s really two steps back. Sure “President” would be a nifty title to have, but when you realize how many “Presidents” there have been, are, or will be, it kind of loses its significance. Maybe POTUS is one step up, but even that sounds like the name of a flower, which is kind of “wussy”.
As it is now, you are “The Donald”. The name comes from the Gaelic name Domhnall, which means “ruler of the world”. You’ve already “arrived”. You can’t arrive more. To try to ‘arrive’ more only means you have to leave. See, your name is already more powerful than president, which on the lesser end means someone who presides and on the greater end is the highest executive officer of a modern republic. It clearly doesn’t match your name. You are “The Donald”. Not Don or Donald, but “The Donald”. Not even Donald Duck gets that.
So if you were President Trump, you’d just be an executive and would actually lose “ruler” status. Totally not worth it.
FAMILY BUSINESS/SUCCESSORS
As a president you really have very little say in who replaces you. What kind of “ruler” doesn’t establish a system of order whereby he names his replacement? Sounds kind of like anarchy. You’re smarter than that.
If you trade in “The Donald” for “President”, no matter how brief, you lose credibility. You need to help your family business, nay, Kingdom, reign supreme. Someday Don Jr, Ivanka, Eric, Barron, and the oddly absent Tiffany. This is your progeny, your successors. They need you and you need them.
The oddly absent “Tiffany”. Why hasn’t she been on the Apprentice?
LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION
As President, you will be mostly “confined” to the White House. That’s just one property. One. Pretty insignificant considering that as The Donald, you have tons of locations you can be and whenever you want: golf courses, casinos, apartments, condos, high-rises.
And now you are removed from your family, the heirs to your mighty kingdom. That’s not good for anyone! Of course they can afford to come visit you, but what a hassle that will be what-with Secret Service, the guards, prying eyes, listening ears.
PERSONNEL
As president, you aren’t even your own person. So much of your schedule is dictated by other people, places, events, and circumstances over which you have little control.
If that’s not being shackled (remember Ivanka and Marla?) then I don’t know what else is.
As The Donald I imagine you are still very much a free man. Sure you have some people around you but not a small army. You don’t want that! No one does! You, Mr. Trump, er “The Donald” are your own man and answer to no one (except Melania).
If you are President, you’ll have to deal with people like this.
THE ART OF THE DEAL
But maybe you want to go from the general population to “solitary confinement”. Once there, you can’t be the deal maker you claim to be. Things need to be signed, but wait they can be vetoed. They need to go to Congress, the House, Senate, committees and subcommittees, the Supreme Court. You have some power but in reality, what if you are just a figurehead?
“Burger King” figurehead with no power and The Donald
Look at all the Presidents the U.S. has had and consider how many are considered successful. The Founding Fathers got stuff done but then you have a lot who are pretty much relegated to answers on Trivial Pursuit (I’m looking at you Harrison!)
At the most you can be president for 8 years. What if you are a “one and done”? Talk about embarrassing. But maybe even worse than that is what if you are ‘less than one’?
Consider the evidence:
- William Henry Harrison, the 9th president who served from March 4, 1841 to April 4, 1841. He lasted 32 days in office! Even Kim Kardashian’s marriage to Kris Humphries lasted longer than that: 72 days!
- Zachary Taylor, the 12th president who served from March 4, 1849 to July 9, 1850. That made is to 493 days. I’ve never seen it, but I’m guessing the movie “500 Days of Summer” supposedly covers 500 days.
- James Garfield, the 20th president served from March 4, 1881 to September 19, 1881. That was 199 days. O.J. Simpson’s murder trial lasted 248 days!
And if that’s not bad enough, consider the on-the-job risk of death via assassination:
- Abraham Lincoln
- John F. Kennedy
- Attempt on Ronald Reagan
It seems it’s hard to hit the ground running as president. First thing in office is to start to undo the mess the previous guy left. In the corporate world, maybe messes can be undone quickly, but even though you are running the show, it’s still the government. Think of having to undo the messiness of your divorces from Marla and Ivana but WITHOUT the benefit of getting kids out of it. Pure hassle bro!
PAY FOR YOUR SERVICES AKA SALARY
In the business world you know that you are compensated for what you can do. As a CEO of your own company you can command (and presumably get) whatever you want at best or whatever the market will bear at worst.
As POTUS, the “governing flower” of the U.S. you will make $400,000. That’s per year! Not per deal, per diem, or per divorce. And that’s in U.S. dollars. Do you realize how much of a slide backwards that would be? Here’s a slideshow of various homes you can buy for $400,000 around the country.
$400,000 is Chump Change. You are worth Trump Change! Know your worth, Donald! Claim it!
This is what you’d be giving up as POTUS!
YOUR IMAGE, YOUR DESTINY
As president, you have people write your speeches and have others around you make you look good. Anything you say wrong can and will come back to bite you in the arse. Every word of every speech will be critiqued.
But as your own man, you make your own rules. You follow the beat to your own drum. You comb your own damn hair, mockers-be-damned.
The presidency wouldn’t be good for you. It would be even worse than the worst business write-off. Anyone in their right mind would never want to be president. Only a special kind of “crazy” wants to be president.
As President, you could no longer do this.
We must then answer, what should you do and how are you needed. But deep down you already know this.
SMALL SCREEN
Although called the “small” screen, it’s anything but. You are the Ruler of Reality TV! No one hosts like you do. No one fires anyone like you do! The quick cobra-attack hand firing.
Think of all the people you helped resurrect their careers. Many Americans will complain how the president ruined the economy or cost them their job and their retirement, but you help people! You help them while they entertain us. You have helped resurrect their careers or given them new careers. You are responsible from them moving from the Z list to the D or E list. We need more of that. They need more of that. Would Lou Ferrigno have been “The Incredible Hulk” if not for you? No! Would Dee Snider’s song from the band Twisted Sister “We’re Not Gonna Take It” have been such a hit without you? No! Somehow you traveled in time and make these gents successes (and many others) before the Celebrity Apprentice even aired.
Without you these things wouldn’t have happened. Without these things, reality TV would not be “REALITY TV”, and with Reality TV, Americans would be bored.
The following are the conversations you need to be engaged in. These are the areas where you excel. Without you, moments like this won’t exist.
- Andrew Dice Clay offends Donald over “snacks”
- Andrew Dice Clay offends again
- Ian Ziering and “La Cucaracha”
- Meat Loaf vs. Gary Busey
- Joan Rivers goes Postal after her daughter Melissa is fired
- Joan Rivers vs. Annie Duke
- Nene Leaks vs. LaToya Jackson
- Nene Leaks vs. Star Jones
- Lou Ferrigno vs. Lisa Lampanelli
- Lisa Lampanelli vs. Dayana Mendoza
- Omarosa vs. Piers Morgan
- Arsenio Hall vs. Aubrey O’Day
- Dionne Warwick vs. Marlee Matlin
- Gary Busey. Gary Frickin’ Busey!
Look at all these other people that you’ve helped!
Celebrity Apprentice Contestants
The following is a list of people that owe a lot to Donald Trump as he has helped them infinitely to be where they are. Without him, chances are they'd be living in a van down by the river.
It’s obviously clear that you, Mr. Trump, “the Donald” belong on the “small screen” which is actually a pretty large screen. It’s the best stage for you and your brand. Remember in most tasks on the Apprentice you will be judged on originality, creativity, brand messaging, profit, and then subjected to the whims of Donald Trump.
These are the words you need to follow. We as the viewing public are better for it, and you are better for it because it betters us. It’s a win-win for us, for you, and for America.
So, please, do not be president of the United States, continue on Reality TV, where you belong and where America needs you!
It’s not too late to do the right thing, Make America Great Again and continue as Reality TV Host Extraordinaire!!